Some days
Just the thought of breathing is too much
The only thought that keeps me going is
“Just keep breathing”
Every breath is a struggle
Accompanied by feelings of shame, guilt and worthlessness
Things I should have done,
Could have done,
Would have done
Remain undone.
The list grows longer
The load grows heavier.
Thoughts become taunts,
Tearing away at any desire
Immobilized
Fading from existence
Until darkness descends
And everything seems to stop.
I have been thinking about speaking on depression for a very long time, and I kept putting it off. I cannot put it off any longer. I have to speak out because chronic depression has been a part of my LIFE, for a very long time. This is a beginning, a first step to talking about living with chronic depression.
I don’t know the form, the outcome or even the path of these ramblings; I just know that it is time for me to speak. I hope that something I say may be helpful to someone living with depression, or a family member or a friend.
Stay tuned…
Life continues…
Yes, life continues. We live and breathe and grow older. We learn and forget and remember. Life continues.
Over the last couple of years I have experienced many twists and turns, hills and valleys. I hope I have learned from my experiences and moved forward.
I am still writing. These days I am focusing on my poetry and hope to have a book of poems published by the end of the year. I plan to publish more of my poems here for your enjoyment. If my words speak to you, use them. I only ask that you properly attribute it to me.
I am still playing with string. I have been exploring different ways or working with thread, string, yarn, rope, wire. My newest project is guitar strings. Yes, I am finally learning to play my guitar and it is going well.
Thank you for visiting. Welcome to my space.
Breathe, plan, do 