Category Archives: Art

Unknown's avatar

Super Powers – Kindness Matters

Featured by

One of the most important things we can do each day is to be kind to ourselves and others. Sometimes I think that the pursuit of success and achievement in our society blinds us to the value of kindness. Competition is encouraged and rewarded while kindness is sometimes looked upon as weakness. However, kindness is not only a strength, it is a super power.

How you ask? First kindness to yourself is the ultimate form of self-care. Being unkind to yourself, beats you down, discourages you and leads to a path of distress, depression and unease (disease). Negativity feeds on itself and creates more negativity. If you tell yourself that you are a failure, eventually you will believe it and become one.

Kindness is just the opposite. If you offer yourself compassion and encouragement, set-backs become stepping stones and lessons to build upon. Kindness is the foundation for success, but we often forget.

Same goes for others. When you offer kindness and encouragement to others, they will reflect that positive energy back to you and everyone benefits from it. So remember Kindness is your Super Power – Use it Well.

Unknown's avatar

One Year Later…

by
Sun Flower

A lot has happened since I last posted here. One of the biggest changes to my life is that as of November 30, 2020, I am retired. That’s right after thirty-six (36) of federal civil service, I called it quits and retired. Retirement is a big change in ways I did not expect.

One of the most significant difference is my level of stress is “exponentially” lower and my depression is lessened. No my depression is not “cured” but I am taking less medication and have fewer days where the depression significantly affects my life. I would say that retirement is good.

Another change during the past year is my presence on social media. While I have not been posting here, I started a YouTube lifestyle channel(mostly gardening and art) and I also have an Instagram channel for my art.

So, what’s next? I am most excited that I am finally getting back into writing and that means more content here as well as a book of poetry coming soon. Additionally, I hope to expand my YouTube to offer inspiration and coping tips to others living with depression. Finally, as my skills in art continue to improve, I plan to offer pieces for purchase.

Thanks for visiting. Please leave a comment and let me know what you think.

Unknown's avatar

Depression continued

by

June 19, 2020

It’s Juneteenth. Celebrating freedom.

Sometimes I just can’t, and today is one of those days. Everything is hard. Every conversation, every effort, every thought.

Why? What does it matter? What does it even mean?

Today, I don’t know and I can’t be bothered to care. Today breathing is enough, but I am not even allowed to have that. Today even breathing is hard.

But let me be clear. I don’t want anything from you or anybody. I will get through this by myself and never speak of my struggles again because there are more important things in this world than my mental and emotional well being.

Carry on.

BogPlant

Unknown's avatar

Thirty-five Days

by

During December 2018 and January 2019 I had a bit of extra time on my hands, somewhere around 35 days.  In my life, time has always seemed to be the limiting factor; you know the saying “so many things to do, people to see, etc. and so little time.”  Suddenly I had lots of time to think, to plan, to do…

So, I started painting.  Continue reading →

Unknown's avatar

The First Step

by

People often say that the first step is the hardest, but what they don’t tell you is that “every step is the first step.” Well maybe not, but with depression, sometimes it feels like every step is the hardest.

This week I find myself stuck in the thinking stage about things I want to do.  I have made decisions and made plans but when it is time act, to move, it is difficult to get going.

Continue reading →

Unknown's avatar

Playing with String

Featured by

20181022_161804-1

Baby Blanket with hats  – Gift for Baby Girl

Crocheting, knitting, sewing – My mother made our clothes.  She also made quilts and blankets for the beds.  My sister and brother knitted, and sometime along the way, I learned those skills and I have been creating things from fabric and string for most of my life.

What do I Make – Most often I crochet baby blankets as gifts for friends and family.  I have crocheted hats, scarves, slippers, sweaters, mitts, stuffed animals, pillows and toys.  My favorite thing to knit is socks, but I also knit mitts, scarves, blankets and hats.  Like my mother, I make clothes but I also make household items like curtains, napkins, pillows, etc. Continue reading →

Unknown's avatar

Depression – Coping

by

Writing on depression, I find that I need to remind potential readers  that I am speaking from my own experience and my perspective.  The things I speak of are true for me at this time or were true for me at the time I experienced them.  As I continue to live with depression and heal, my truth is shaped by my experiences, my perspectives and my physical, emotional and spiritual growth.  So remember, these truths may not be valid for you or your loved ones.

One aspect of depression that continues to frustrate me is coping with the reactions and comments from others. Just recently I was sharing with a friend the feeling of “stasis” that I was experiencing.  If you are not familiar with it, check out my writing here.  At this stage of healing, I continue to speak out about my depression.  I talk about it with friends and family rather than keeping silent. So when they ask how I am, I answer, sharing my feelings. Continue reading →

Unknown's avatar

Major Depressive Episode

by

I keep looking for a pattern, some kind of warning, a hint, any small thing to let me know that things are about to change. The waiting and wondering is a huge part of my life, but there is nothing. At least I can’t seem to find anything to prepare me for the onset of the next episode. One day all is well and the next day just the thought of getting out of bed is too much.

Sometimes there is a reason and my mind wants to latch onto that reason. Maybe it is bad news, illness, death of a loved one, a difficulty at work, a disagreement or just the normal ebbs and flows of life. Whatever the cause the spiral into that dark place of self-loathing, self-doubt, disillusionment, inadequacy, inactivity comes on suddenly. Life becomes a test of endurance.

I tell myself, “Just one more breath, one more minute, one more hour, one more day.”

I don’t have the energy or the will to moderate or restrict the negative self talk and things get worse. Days become weeks and sometimes weeks become month.

“Just put one foot in-front of the other. Keep walking. Move. You have to move. Hold on just a bit longer.”

Unknown's avatar

Depression cont.

by

Some days
Just the thought of breathing is too much
The only thought that keeps me going is
“Just keep breathing”
Every breath is a struggle
Accompanied by feelings of shame, guilt and worthlessness
Things I should have done,
Could have done,
Would have done
Remain undone.

The list grows longer
The load grows heavier.
Thoughts become taunts,
Tearing away at any desire
Immobilized
Fading from existence
Until darkness descends
And everything seems to stop.