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Super Powers – Kindness Matters

One of the most important things we can do each day is to be kind to ourselves and others. Sometimes I think that the pursuit of success and achievement in our society blinds us to the value of kindness. Competition is encouraged and rewarded while kindness is sometimes looked upon as weakness. However, kindness is not only a strength, it is a super power.

How you ask? First kindness to yourself is the ultimate form of self-care. Being unkind to yourself, beats you down, discourages you and leads to a path of distress, depression and unease (disease). Negativity feeds on itself and creates more negativity. If you tell yourself that you are a failure, eventually you will believe it and become one.

Kindness is just the opposite. If you offer yourself compassion and encouragement, set-backs become stepping stones and lessons to build upon. Kindness is the foundation for success, but we often forget.

Same goes for others. When you offer kindness and encouragement to others, they will reflect that positive energy back to you and everyone benefits from it. So remember Kindness is your Super Power – Use it Well.

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The Gift Of Time – The Art of Self-Care

Recently I have noticed that “self-care” seems to be a popular topic, yet I have not seen a consistent definition of the term. Is self-care an activity, an idea, a process, a concept, a lifestyle, an indulgence, or a protest? Is self-care selfish? Is it selfless? Is it self-ful? Is it marketing tool inviting people to try a new product or to indulge in a new experience?

All this can be very confusing, and I don’t have the answers, yet as I pondered this, one thought kept coming back to me was: What is the one thing I would give to myself if I could have anything?

For me that one thing is time. I have found over the years that I have given my time to people and things, yet I did not give enough time to myself. While it has taken a while I have learned to reserve time just for me. Scheduling time on the calendar for myself – refusing to schedule anything for anyone during those barring emergencies. It also means, saying no to over-scheduling and over-booking. It means blocking off daily quiet time to relax and unwind. It also means taking time to access to see if the time I have scheduled for myself works for me and adjusting accordingly.

This has not been an easy task and I don’t always get it right. I have responsibilities that require my attention and presence so those have to be considered. However, I have found that when I find the balance, give myself the time I need, then I am able to better focus on my responsibilities and give them the time they deserve as well.

What do you think?

Unknown's avatar

Are you SAD? Dark Days of Winter

As much as I enjoy that extra hour of sleep when time changes in the fall, it is the beginning of the hardest time of year for me. It’s dark. It’s cold. It’s damp. And it makes me sad.

I just want to wrap up in a blanket, in front of a fire and sleep. I don’t want to be bothered with people, I don’t want to go out. I want comfort food.

Last year, during the dark days of 2020 I gave myself permission to do as much or as little as I wanted and it was the best thing I could have done for myself. I know this is not possible for most people with work and other life commitments, but it made a world of difference for me.

I slept in, took naps, only moved when I wanted to. I ate soup, drank tea, had ice cream and just chilled. I read a bunch of books, filled up sketch books, played with watercolor and acrylic paints. I did stuff I wanted to do until I didn’t want to and then moved on to something else or I did nothing at all.

And you know what? I wasn’t depressed. I wasn’t stressed. I learned that for me the artificial structure of life, that I was forcing myself to live, was a major cause of stress. When I allowed myself to honor my natural rhythms of rest and activity, rather than society’s, I was better able to navigate the dark days of winter. I don’t know what 2021 will bring, but my plan is to let my body and my energy lead. I’m prepared to take it easy until the sun returns and days get longer.

Do the short days of winter affect you like this? How do you get through it?

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One Year Later…

Sun Flower

A lot has happened since I last posted here. One of the biggest changes to my life is that as of November 30, 2020, I am retired. That’s right after thirty-six (36) of federal civil service, I called it quits and retired. Retirement is a big change in ways I did not expect.

One of the most significant difference is my level of stress is “exponentially” lower and my depression is lessened. No my depression is not “cured” but I am taking less medication and have fewer days where the depression significantly affects my life. I would say that retirement is good.

Another change during the past year is my presence on social media. While I have not been posting here, I started a YouTube lifestyle channel(mostly gardening and art) and I also have an Instagram channel for my art.

So, what’s next? I am most excited that I am finally getting back into writing and that means more content here as well as a book of poetry coming soon. Additionally, I hope to expand my YouTube to offer inspiration and coping tips to others living with depression. Finally, as my skills in art continue to improve, I plan to offer pieces for purchase.

Thanks for visiting. Please leave a comment and let me know what you think.

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Depression continued

June 19, 2020

It’s Juneteenth. Celebrating freedom.

Sometimes I just can’t, and today is one of those days. Everything is hard. Every conversation, every effort, every thought.

Why? What does it matter? What does it even mean?

Today, I don’t know and I can’t be bothered to care. Today breathing is enough, but I am not even allowed to have that. Today even breathing is hard.

But let me be clear. I don’t want anything from you or anybody. I will get through this by myself and never speak of my struggles again because there are more important things in this world than my mental and emotional well being.

Carry on.

BogPlant

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June 2020 – Raw

It’s June 13, 2020 and my feelings are all over the place.  I want to write something.  I want to say something to encourage or to inspire or at least to ease the pain that so many are feeling now, and yet I find that I cannot find the words.  Language is difficult.  It is hard for me to communicate when even the words I use are loaded with unintended meanings. Continue reading

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Thirty-five Days

During December 2018 and January 2019 I had a bit of extra time on my hands, somewhere around 35 days.  In my life, time has always seemed to be the limiting factor; you know the saying “so many things to do, people to see, etc. and so little time.”  Suddenly I had lots of time to think, to plan, to do…

So, I started painting.  Continue reading

Unknown's avatar

Losing Light

It’s early December 2016 and the days are getting shorter. As this happens I find myself responding to the shortened days by withdrawing. Withdrawing from friends, activities,  interactions and retreating into myself.  This is a cycle that happens every year for me much like the cycles in nature based on photoperiodism. A friend suggested that I consider light therapy and I’m currently researching it, but I wonder if fighting against natural tendencies might have long term negative effects.  Perhaps I need a change of perspective.  Looking at this time of year as a time of inward reflection, I time of rest and recuperation, or a time for solitary living.  I have never considered this time of year to be a necessary part of the natural cycle that provides balance to a hurried life. I am curious about your thoughts on this so please leave a comment.