Tag Archives: Writing

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Super Powers – Kindness Matters

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One of the most important things we can do each day is to be kind to ourselves and others. Sometimes I think that the pursuit of success and achievement in our society blinds us to the value of kindness. Competition is encouraged and rewarded while kindness is sometimes looked upon as weakness. However, kindness is not only a strength, it is a super power.

How you ask? First kindness to yourself is the ultimate form of self-care. Being unkind to yourself, beats you down, discourages you and leads to a path of distress, depression and unease (disease). Negativity feeds on itself and creates more negativity. If you tell yourself that you are a failure, eventually you will believe it and become one.

Kindness is just the opposite. If you offer yourself compassion and encouragement, set-backs become stepping stones and lessons to build upon. Kindness is the foundation for success, but we often forget.

Same goes for others. When you offer kindness and encouragement to others, they will reflect that positive energy back to you and everyone benefits from it. So remember Kindness is your Super Power – Use it Well.

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The Gift Of Time – The Art of Self-Care

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Recently I have noticed that “self-care” seems to be a popular topic, yet I have not seen a consistent definition of the term. Is self-care an activity, an idea, a process, a concept, a lifestyle, an indulgence, or a protest? Is self-care selfish? Is it selfless? Is it self-ful? Is it marketing tool inviting people to try a new product or to indulge in a new experience?

All this can be very confusing, and I don’t have the answers, yet as I pondered this, one thought kept coming back to me was: What is the one thing I would give to myself if I could have anything?

For me that one thing is time. I have found over the years that I have given my time to people and things, yet I did not give enough time to myself. While it has taken a while I have learned to reserve time just for me. Scheduling time on the calendar for myself – refusing to schedule anything for anyone during those barring emergencies. It also means, saying no to over-scheduling and over-booking. It means blocking off daily quiet time to relax and unwind. It also means taking time to access to see if the time I have scheduled for myself works for me and adjusting accordingly.

This has not been an easy task and I don’t always get it right. I have responsibilities that require my attention and presence so those have to be considered. However, I have found that when I find the balance, give myself the time I need, then I am able to better focus on my responsibilities and give them the time they deserve as well.

What do you think?

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2023 – January – I’m back

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It has been a while but I’m back. If you are reading this, thank you for spending time with me. I hope you are well. I am well and my family is well also.

Last year – 2022 – was a year of changes and loss for me, and I suspect it was for you too as so much was going on in the world. However it was also a year of new experiences and growth.

I have been busy with YouTube this year, so if you want to know what has been going on with me check out my channel at https://www.youtube.com/@FRHumphrey.

My goal for 2023 is to be more active here, with regular postings. I have a lot going on and definitely want to share with you.

I hope your new year is prosperous and brings everything for your highest and greatest good.

That is all.

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Are you SAD? Dark Days of Winter

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As much as I enjoy that extra hour of sleep when time changes in the fall, it is the beginning of the hardest time of year for me. It’s dark. It’s cold. It’s damp. And it makes me sad.

I just want to wrap up in a blanket, in front of a fire and sleep. I don’t want to be bothered with people, I don’t want to go out. I want comfort food.

Last year, during the dark days of 2020 I gave myself permission to do as much or as little as I wanted and it was the best thing I could have done for myself. I know this is not possible for most people with work and other life commitments, but it made a world of difference for me.

I slept in, took naps, only moved when I wanted to. I ate soup, drank tea, had ice cream and just chilled. I read a bunch of books, filled up sketch books, played with watercolor and acrylic paints. I did stuff I wanted to do until I didn’t want to and then moved on to something else or I did nothing at all.

And you know what? I wasn’t depressed. I wasn’t stressed. I learned that for me the artificial structure of life, that I was forcing myself to live, was a major cause of stress. When I allowed myself to honor my natural rhythms of rest and activity, rather than society’s, I was better able to navigate the dark days of winter. I don’t know what 2021 will bring, but my plan is to let my body and my energy lead. I’m prepared to take it easy until the sun returns and days get longer.

Do the short days of winter affect you like this? How do you get through it?

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One Year Later…

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Sun Flower

A lot has happened since I last posted here. One of the biggest changes to my life is that as of November 30, 2020, I am retired. That’s right after thirty-six (36) of federal civil service, I called it quits and retired. Retirement is a big change in ways I did not expect.

One of the most significant difference is my level of stress is “exponentially” lower and my depression is lessened. No my depression is not “cured” but I am taking less medication and have fewer days where the depression significantly affects my life. I would say that retirement is good.

Another change during the past year is my presence on social media. While I have not been posting here, I started a YouTube lifestyle channel(mostly gardening and art) and I also have an Instagram channel for my art.

So, what’s next? I am most excited that I am finally getting back into writing and that means more content here as well as a book of poetry coming soon. Additionally, I hope to expand my YouTube to offer inspiration and coping tips to others living with depression. Finally, as my skills in art continue to improve, I plan to offer pieces for purchase.

Thanks for visiting. Please leave a comment and let me know what you think.

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The First Step

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People often say that the first step is the hardest, but what they don’t tell you is that “every step is the first step.” Well maybe not, but with depression, sometimes it feels like every step is the hardest.

This week I find myself stuck in the thinking stage about things I want to do.  I have made decisions and made plans but when it is time act, to move, it is difficult to get going.

Continue reading →

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Depression – Coping

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Writing on depression, I find that I need to remind potential readers  that I am speaking from my own experience and my perspective.  The things I speak of are true for me at this time or were true for me at the time I experienced them.  As I continue to live with depression and heal, my truth is shaped by my experiences, my perspectives and my physical, emotional and spiritual growth.  So remember, these truths may not be valid for you or your loved ones.

One aspect of depression that continues to frustrate me is coping with the reactions and comments from others. Just recently I was sharing with a friend the feeling of “stasis” that I was experiencing.  If you are not familiar with it, check out my writing here.  At this stage of healing, I continue to speak out about my depression.  I talk about it with friends and family rather than keeping silent. So when they ask how I am, I answer, sharing my feelings. Continue reading →

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Major Depressive Episode

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I keep looking for a pattern, some kind of warning, a hint, any small thing to let me know that things are about to change. The waiting and wondering is a huge part of my life, but there is nothing. At least I can’t seem to find anything to prepare me for the onset of the next episode. One day all is well and the next day just the thought of getting out of bed is too much.

Sometimes there is a reason and my mind wants to latch onto that reason. Maybe it is bad news, illness, death of a loved one, a difficulty at work, a disagreement or just the normal ebbs and flows of life. Whatever the cause the spiral into that dark place of self-loathing, self-doubt, disillusionment, inadequacy, inactivity comes on suddenly. Life becomes a test of endurance.

I tell myself, “Just one more breath, one more minute, one more hour, one more day.”

I don’t have the energy or the will to moderate or restrict the negative self talk and things get worse. Days become weeks and sometimes weeks become month.

“Just put one foot in-front of the other. Keep walking. Move. You have to move. Hold on just a bit longer.”

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Depression

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I have been thinking about speaking on depression for a very long time, and I kept putting it off. I cannot put it off any longer. I have to speak out because chronic depression has been a part of my LIFE, for a very long time. This is a beginning, a first step to talking about living with chronic depression.

I don’t know the form, the outcome or even the path of these ramblings; I just know that it is time for me to speak. I hope that something I say may be helpful to someone living with depression, or a family member or a friend.

Stay tuned…

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NaNoWriMo

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November is National Novel Writing Month. If you have never heard of it, go here to check it out. I heard about NaNoWriMo a few years ago, I believe it was 2006, from some writing friends on SparkPeople . At the time, I mostly wrote poetry and considered writing a children’s book, but hadn’t really considered writing a novel. I certainly had not considered writing 50,000 words in 30 days or less, but somehow on November 9 found myself creating a profile and two days later started writing.

Somehow, I won. I met with other wrimos in my town for write-ins, joined in the forums for word wars, and had a great time of it. I met PolarBear60 who turned me on to FMWriters, which really made me look at my writing in a totally different way. Until then, I wrote for me, because I needed it, because I wanted to. I never considered sharing my writing with others. I never considered even trying to get published. But, after that first NaNoWriMo I began to change. My writing changed, both the process and the products. After that first NaNoWriMo I started to challenge myself to write more, to explore different styles, to edit my writing and to share it. This year for the first time I re-wrote one of my novels. I am now in the editing and polishing process and soon it will be in the hands of my beta readers. I have shared some of my poems on g+ and I started this blog. While writing is still something I do for me, it is more than that.

     So, it’s almost November 2014 and I am considering yet another novel. Have you ever thought about writing a book? Do you keep saying that you will do it “one of these days”. Well, one of these days is just around the corner. I’ll be hanging out on g+ with other wrimos sprinting my way toward 50,000 words and another win. I would love to see you there.

Water Fall in Little River Canyon, AL

Little River Canyon – AL